Domestic violence and abuse is one of the biggest social problems of today, yet it is often overlooked or denied. Noticing and acknowledging the signs of a physically abusive partner are the first steps to put a stop to it. Always remember, no one should ever have to live in fear, particularly with a person that they love…
No woman in this world ever plans to enter an abusive relationship. However, many fail to recognize the signs of a physically abusive partner… and most women who get out of an abusive relationship usually find themselves becoming victims of abuse again. Unfortunately, it usually takes an average of five to seven acts of abuse before a woman decides to leave her partner.
The following is a list of behaviors and traits that a physically abusive partner may possess. This will help you predict if the person you are currently with has the possibility to become a domestic abuser. Avoid being blinded by love, lust or desperation and help stop domestic abuse today!
A physically abusive partner starts with claims that his jealousy is a sign of love at the beginning of the relationship. He may constantly question you about whom you have spoken with or seen during your day; he may go right into accusing you that you are flirting with the people around you. A person prone to committing domestic violence has misplaced jealousy – he gets jealous when you spend time with your family and friends. As his jealousy progresses, he may start strictly monitoring your activities or even ask you to quit work for fear that you will meet someone else.
A physically abusive partner usually disguises his controlling behavior as a form of concern – he will tell you that he is concern about your safety, well-being and your emotional health… A good example of a controlling behavior is when he gets mad when you arrive home late from work, shopping or any other activity. When your partner’s controlling gets worse, he may forbid you from making personal decisions about the house, your work, your clothing and many more. Concern is different from control; do not allow your partner to control your every move as if you are his property.
An abusive partner may expect you to be the perfect wife, partner, girlfriend, lover and friend. He can become very dependent on you for all his needs and utter statements such as, ‘You are all I need’ or ‘I am all you need’. As he becomes dependent on you for everything, he may blame you if you are not able to live up to his expectations.
Blame-Shifting for Problems and Feelings
A physically abusive partner never accepts responsibility for any fault or problem; they always blame someone else for the misfortune in their lives. He may blame you for all the upsetting events in his life – unemployment, dropping out from school, family problems… He will always claim that his behavior is a reaction to your attitude. A physically abusive partner may use his feelings to manipulate you; he may use statements such as ‘You are hurting me by not doing what I ask’ or ‘I would not be angry if you didn’t…’
‘Playful’ Use of Force in Sex
A physically abusive partner may have sexual fantasies where you are helpless; he may find the idea of rape as exciting. He may force you to have sex even if you are feeling ill or tired, he may sulk to manipulate you to comply or feel angry if you don’t let him do what he wants.
The aforementioned are a few tale tell signs of a physically abusive partner that you should take heed when evaluating your situation. If you are in an abusive situation, talk to someone you can trust; ideally a professional who can help you get out of your abusive relationship.