Monthly Archives: October 2015

Getting Over Teen Depression

teen depression

Teen depression is quite evident these days. Being a teenager is one of the toughest phases in a person’s life; it is when you feel most insecure about yourself – as if you don’t belong, like you are an outsider. It is normal for teenagers to feel sad, frustrated and or irritable. However, what should you do if the feeling doesn’t go away?

Teen depression can indeed drain life out of you – you may lose hope, feel tired and you will find it difficult to go on with your day-to-day activities. But always remember that you are in control of your feelings; don’t let what you feel get the best of you! The process wouldn’t be easy – but it is also not impossible.

Signs and Symptoms of Teen Depression

When you feel depressed, you get feel that no one understands you… that you are a hopeless case and that you are alone. But in reality, this is not the case. Teen depression is quite common and with proper help, you can get over it in no time.

Here are some of the signs and symptoms of teen depression:

  • Constant feeling of irritability, frustration, sadness and or anger
  • Feeling bad about yourself; that you are worthless
  • Sleeping too much or not enough
  • You experience frequent headaches
  • Most of the time you feel like crying
  • You are not focused; your performance at school is negatively being affected
  • You have thoughts of suicide

Coping with Teen Depression

When you feel depressed, try talking to an adult you trust. It may seem like your parents will not understand what you are going through, especially if they always nag you about your behavior. But it may surprise you that they do! Remember, they too were once a teenager… and they do not want to see their children in pain. Your parents nagging may just be a result of frustration because they don’t know what’s going on in your life.

Keep your communication lines with your parents open. If they know that you are feeling depressed, they can get you the help you need. But if your parents are abusive and there is no way that you can ask them for help, talk to another adult that you can trust – it may be your teacher, coach, grandparent, aunt or uncle.

Talking to the right person can get you directed to the support you need. If there is truly no one that you can trust, seek help from support groups and other hotlines; they are available to help you stop from developing harmful thoughts and actions. Asking for help is always the bravest thing that a teenager like you can do.

Tips for Getting Over Teen Depression

Do not isolate yourself. It’s normal to feel that you don’t want to see or be with anyone when you are depressed. However, isolating yourself will only make matters worse! Try to remain social and get out into the world. Spend some quality time with your loved ones and friends this will eventually help you feel good about yourself.

Be mindful of your health. Make healthy lifestyle choices to help improve your mood. Get into sports or do regular exercises – this will help release a rush of endorphins, which can make you feel happier. As for food, avoid eating food that will only make you feel ‘heavy’ or unhealthy; supply your body with the vitamins and minerals that it needs. Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables and whole grains.

Avoid alcohol and drugs. Being depressed may lure you to drink or use drugs to escape your feelings. Although these things may provide you with the ‘mood boost’ that you need, it is just temporary. After the substance leaves your body, you will just feel more depressed than before. Moreover, alcohol and drug abuse may only increase your suicidal feelings and eventually will cause serious side affects and long term addiction – therefore, stay away from them at all costs!

Love Yourself. Learn more about you, and what you like and love about yourself. Don’t dwell on the negatives only the positives. Write down what you feel about yourself and focus on the good. When you see more negatives than positives, ask yourself if this is really how you feel or have you believed a lie you have been told. When you can write down the positives, they should outweigh the negatives. When they don’t, that’s when you should really talk to someone you trust to help you through the negatives so you can learn to love yourself again.

Self-Acceptance Can Heal Trauma

What is Self-Acceptance?

Self-acceptance is steady and unconditional. When you accept yourself despite your weaknesses and faults, you are more forgiving and you avoid self-judging. You do not fall into the bad habit of comparing yourself to others and you learn to appreciate your individuality!

Accepting yourself helps make you feel confident; it makes you feel that you are enough – that you are beautiful in your own way. Self-acceptance can do wonders improving your self-confidence; it can make you stop worrying about what other people think about you. You become more natural and happy with yourself! Once you have accepted yourself, you become more relaxed and allow the ‘real you’ to be seen by other people.

Accepting yourself allows you to live freely, with no shame or fear. Self-acceptance helps you build stronger and more intimate relationship with others.

What Determines Self-Acceptance?

As a child, you may have accepted yourself on the terms that your parents have accepted you. According to research, children are unable to have a clear idea of self before they reach the age of eight. So if your parents were unable to tell you that you are totally acceptable, you may develop feelings of doubt toward yourself.

The positive regard of your parents may be based on how you behaved as a child. Unfortunately, you may have acted in ways that were not acceptable to their standards. Once you identify yourself with your misbehaviors, you begin to develop a feeling of inadequacy and uncertainness.

Adverse parental evaluation has the tendency to go far beyond disapproving misbehaviors; you may develop the mind-set that you are not attractive enough, smart enough or good enough because of your parents’ evaluation. Mental health professionals may regard this as emotional abuse because it can lead you to believe that you may only be accepted under certain conditions.

Self-criticism is almost always at the heart of the problems that you ‘create’ as an adult. If your parents dealt with you in a hurtful manner, it is very possible that you will parent your children in the same manner. If you were always ignored, berated and blamed, you will find ways as an adult to deal with all your unresolved pain.

Many, if not all, people enter into adulthood carrying heavy emotional baggage from their past; they are afflicted with a certain negative bias that greatly influence their opinion about themselves. They tend to blame themselves and view themselves as defective; they suffer from self-doubt and this greatly affects their ability for self-acceptance.

Unconditional Self-Acceptance

‘Happiness and self-acceptance go hand in hand, your level of self-acceptance determines your level of happiness.’ – Robert Holden

Accepting yourself unconditionally would have come easier if your parents ‘validated’ you positively; growing up in a supportive environment can do a lot to improve your self-esteem and self-love. But if that wasn’t the case for you, you have to learn on your own to ‘certify’ yourself. However, keep in mind that self-acceptance is very different from being complacent – you always have to improve yourself without judgment. This can help you find peace in your heart and mind; you will find fulfillment and complete, unqualified acceptance.

To fully accept yourself, you have to be more self-compassionate. If you are more forgiving and understanding of yourself, it also becomes easier to let go of your hurtful past. You have to realize that you are continuously proving your worth to others to accept that you need to develop a more loving stance toward yourself. Forget about the ‘conditional-love-scars’ from your past and recognize your strength and uniqueness.

Warning Signs of A Physically Abusive Partner

physically abusive partner

Domestic violence and abuse is one of the biggest social problems of today, yet it is often overlooked or denied. Noticing and acknowledging the signs of a physically abusive partner are the first steps to put a stop to it. Always remember, no one should ever have to live in fear, particularly with a person that they love…

No woman in this world ever plans to enter an abusive relationship. However, many fail to recognize the signs of a physically abusive partner… and most women who get out of an abusive relationship usually find themselves becoming victims of abuse again. Unfortunately, it usually takes an average of five to seven acts of abuse before a woman decides to leave her partner.

The following is a list of behaviors and traits that a physically abusive partner may possess. This will help you predict if the person you are currently with has the possibility to become a domestic abuser. Avoid being blinded by love, lust or desperation and help stop domestic abuse today!

Constantly Jealous

A physically abusive partner starts with claims that his jealousy is a sign of love at the beginning of the relationship. He may constantly question you about whom you have spoken with or seen during your day; he may go right into accusing you that you are flirting with the people around you. A person prone to committing domestic violence has misplaced jealousy – he gets jealous when you spend time with your family and friends. As his jealousy progresses, he may start strictly monitoring your activities or even ask you to quit work for fear that you will meet someone else.

Controlling Behavior

A physically abusive partner usually disguises his controlling behavior as a form of concern – he will tell you that he is concern about your safety, well-being and your emotional health… A good example of a controlling behavior is when he gets mad when you arrive home late from work, shopping or any other activity. When your partner’s controlling gets worse, he may forbid you from making personal decisions about the house, your work, your clothing and many more. Concern is different from control; do not allow your partner to control your every move as if you are his property.

Unrealistic Expectations

An abusive partner may expect you to be the perfect wife, partner, girlfriend, lover and friend. He can become very dependent on you for all his needs and utter statements such as, ‘You are all I need’ or ‘I am all you need’. As he becomes dependent on you for everything, he may blame you if you are not able to live up to his expectations.

Blame-Shifting for Problems and Feelings

A physically abusive partner never accepts responsibility for any fault or problem; they always blame someone else for the misfortune in their lives. He may blame you for all the upsetting events in his life – unemployment, dropping out from school, family problems… He will always claim that his behavior is a reaction to your attitude. A physically abusive partner may use his feelings to manipulate you; he may use statements such as ‘You are hurting me by not doing what I ask’ or ‘I would not be angry if you didn’t…’

‘Playful’ Use of Force in Sex

A physically abusive partner may have sexual fantasies where you are helpless; he may find the idea of rape as exciting. He may force you to have sex even if you are feeling ill or tired, he may sulk to manipulate you to comply or feel angry if you don’t let him do what he wants.

 

The aforementioned are a few tale tell signs of a physically abusive partner that you should take heed when evaluating your situation. If you are in an abusive situation, talk to someone you can trust; ideally a professional who can help you get out of your abusive relationship.

Break the Silence for the Victims of Child Abuse

victims of child abuse

‘Don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today.’ – Thomas Jefferson 

Many victims of child abuse keep their suffering a secret because they feel ashamed and afraid… most of them continue to suffer long after they have survived their abusive experience. They have terrifying nightmares that make them wake up shaking and disoriented in the middle of the night. They live in constant fear that their past may become reality again.

Victims of child abuse may continue to live that way if no one will help them ‘break the silence’! Erin Merryn is just one of the many survivors of child sexual abuse; she is responsible for the legislation of Erin’s law – this requires public schools to educate students about sexual abuse prevention. Erin’s goal is to encourage other victims of child abuse to speak up….to break their silence!

The force behind Erin’s law has helped others to come out and speak up about their abusive experiences… here are some of the stories of people who are just like Erin Merryn.

The Story of Ter-rae Lee

Ter-rae Lee is a survivor of child sexual abuse; she had been abused by her own father from ages 11 to 13. An article that she read from Seventeen Magazine encouraged her to speak up about her experience and tell her mother. Through the help of RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network), she began her recovery and was able to gain a confession from her father. Today, her father is serving time in prison – which makes Ter-rae feel safe after a long, long time. Ter-rae wants to encourage other victims of child abuse to break their silence and obtain justice for their abusive experience; ‘When you tell your story, you will feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. There’s always light after the dark, and one day you might be able to help someone by talking about what happened.’

The Story of David Moody

David Moody is one of the victims of child abuse; it took him a while before he spoke up about his abusive experience. He struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder and anxiety before he decided to tell his wife about the male babysitter who molested him when he was 9 to 10 years old. After getting the counseling that he needed, David is now comfortable talking about his experience. ‘I was like a pressure cooker that had a valve released. I didn’t know how tight I had been wound up until I said the words out loud’. Today, David wants to help others learn about child sexual abuse and encourage survivors to share their experience. ‘It is an emotional freedom, to finally know that it was not my fault; that I am strong and that I deserve to be happy. It is a clearness like nothing I have ever experienced until now’.

The Story of Kathleen Frank

Kathleen Frank was abused by her father at the age of 10 years old. At least that is the age she woke up to it; Kathleen’s father abused her while she was sleeping.  But later in her years Kathleen started getting flash backs of times when her father was ‘too close’ and certain touches were uncomfortable for her. Shortly after Kathleen was realized she was being abused, she became this target of others who also abused her, such as her great grandfather, cousins and her brother. Kathleen told her mother, but her mother refused to believe her.  Perhaps her mother did believe Kathleen but was in denial, in any case Kathleen did not get the protection she needed and felt she had to find ways to protect herself. This is when Kathleen became assertive in her attitude, angry with her abusers, and eventually developed the mind set that the only way someone will love her is to give them what they want. This attitude caused Kathleen to turn toward young men of at least 8 to 20 years older than her for attention and love in the wrong way. Kathleen had a warped perspective on what love was, and it wasn’t until she was in her later 30’s when she realized how much she needed help. Kathleen sought help, she sought God, it was her way to get a right perspective on love and to know the unconditional love of Christ. Kathleen’s started journaling her feelings and her revelations of the healing process. After 10 years of writing her thoughts, her fears, her healing, Kathleen published her journals in her recent book, ‘I’m Fat and Nobody Cares’. Kathleen’s book tells the world her story in detail in hopes to help others who have had similar experiences. Kathleen was able to receive complete healing of her abuse through her writings and her book has helped thousands of abused women and girls receive healing too.

 

Be the Voice of Victims of Child Abuse

According to surveys, about one in ten children suffer from child sexual abuse before they turn 18. In order to help put a stop to this social problem, you must ‘be the voice’ of victims of child abuse. You can do this by helping promote education, awareness and advance the conversation about this issue. Get in touch with abuse prevention organizations in your area, especially if you know someone who is suffering from child sexual abuse.

By simply speaking up, you can help save the life of a child abuse victim; offer useful information about where people can turn to for help if needed. Help empower people and organizations to prevent child sexual abuse all over the world; help create a safe environment for children where abuse does not exist. If you make it one of your priorities to help, nothing is impossible!

What is Incest?

incest

Incest is defined as having a sexual relationship with people who are too closely related to you – by law, you are not allowed to marry these people; it is the serious crime having sexual acts with a parent, child, sibling or grandchild. About 23 percent of all sexual abuse cases in the world are incest and the most commonly reported involves a father-daughter relationship.

Sexual contact typically does not happen when the daughter is still young; intercourse usually takes place when the child is past 12. According to reports, alcohol is one of the biggest factors behind these sexual abuse cases – about 20 to 50 percent of abusive fathers are alcoholics.

Cases of brother-sister incest are also very common; it usually happens within families that suffer from serious problems. Healthy and happy families exhibit affection with each other. However, it should be remembered that affection is very different from ‘sexual stimulation’.

What is Incest Taboo?

This cultural taboo is prevalent in today’s society and many past societies. Modern societies have already established laws and restrictions against closely consanguineous marriages (related by blood). Some societies even extend the taboo to people who are not related by blood such as milk-siblings, step siblings and adoptive siblings; relationships between third-degree relatives such as half-aunt and first cousin, are also viewed differently in some cultures – most cultures discourage it.

The most common reason behind incest taboo is the impact inbreeding has on the offspring of incestuous relationships. Close genetic relationships usually produce children who have high risk of congenital disorder, disability and even death. Unintended incest sexual relationship may also occur because of sperm donation, surrogacy and adoption – people are uncertain or clueless about their biological relationship to others.

Types of Incest

  • Between an adult and a child. This is considered as child sexual abuse and is the most commonly reported case of incest. However, the prevalence of this type is quite difficult to assess because most victims keep it as a secret. Moreover, reports show that this form of child abuse is more likely to happen between stepfather and daughter as compared to biological father and daughter. Some of the most ‘common features’ that lead to the occurrence of incest include extreme paternal dominance, reassignment of mother responsibilities to the daughter and an estrange relationship between mother and daughter.
  • Between consenting adults. The most common reason for this occurrence is the ‘genetic sexual attraction’ between the two adults. Although not so many cases of this incest have been reported, some evidences point to its occurrence; technological advances such as chat rooms and other websites have fostered the occurrence of incestuous relationships today.
  • Cousin relationships. Marriages and sexual relationships that occur between first cousins are tolerated in some areas of the world. However, it is still considered as incest and is strongly discouraged by many cultures. Although the occurrence is very rare, it is indeed present in some communities – in Pakistan, marriages between cousins are encouraged to ensure the purity of descent line and that patrimony will not pass into ‘outsiders’.
  • Aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews. In some cultures, marriages among aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews are considered legal. However, in the case of the Dutch, they must seek the consent of the Dutch government first because of the risk of inbreeding defects. Consensual intercourse between adults is tolerated in Netherlands and Belgium but is seriously punished in the US such as in Florida and other US States.

Common Reasons Behind Molestation

child molestation

What is Molestation?

The legal definition of molestation is the crime of sexual acts with children up to the age of eighteen. Sexual acts include the touching of private parts, taking pornographic photos and forced exposure of the genitalia. Pedophiles may perform a variation of the following acts to their victims and such sexual acts may also occur as incest – when a relative abuses a younger or minor member of the family. Molestation is any unwelcome sexual act that fall short of rape.

What Causes Someone to Molest?

It has been an ongoing issue to find out the reasons why someone can possibly molest a child. The following are four broad categories that may classify an abuser:

  1. Abusers are children or teenagers who are sexually misguided and may result to experimenting. Children who reach puberty become sexually curious and they usually lure much younger children to take off their clothes just to satisfy their curiosity. Although most teenage experimenters, as they grow older, stop their sexual interactions with children, some are further misguided and turn into pedophiles.
  1. Abusers may have a medical or mental condition that needs proper treatment. Some sexual abusers suffer from mental disability and/or brain disorder which lead them to sexually touch children. Their family members must have a close eye on them in order to prevent molestation from taking place; they should also take their medications, if there are any, to stop child abusers from this group with what they are doing.
  1. Many abusers have antisocial disorder; they lack feelings and would like to inflict pain on others – Opportunists. Antisocial individuals are people who feel that the rules of society do not apply to them. These individuals are actively social and may even have lots of friends, but they always break many of society’s rules. They lack feelings for others and live with the belief that everyone around them exists to be used, including children. Child abusers that belong in this group are often involved in the most terrifying situations that you witness on television and the news.
  1. Abusers have an ongoing sex drive that is directed toward children. Child abusers who belong in this group are commonly referred to as pedophiles. Only a sex-specific physician or therapist can identify this ongoing sex drive among people who have pedophilia disorder. Sex drive that is directed toward children may be corrected by sex-specific therapies and medication. But according to researches, only 87 percent of such treatments are effective. People who are diagnosed with pedophilia disorder have the following traits:
  • Pedophiles are sexually aroused and have intense, recurring sexual fantasies that involve children (13 years and younger).
  • Pedophiles are aroused by or have sexual fantasies including a child for at least 6 months.
  • Pedophiles are 16 years of age an older.
  • Pedophiles are 5+ years older than his or her victim.

 

Daniel is an ideal example of someone who has pedophilia disorder; he has been molesting children for over 26 years. He is past 16 years old and he’s been having sexual desires toward children that are 5 years younger than him. His first victim was his stepsister, Chloe, a 10 year old girl. He was 13 years old when he started having sexual fantasies that involve young girls. He also started to develop a sexual desire for Chloe when she came to visit one weekend every month. Daniel’s fantasies continued until he was 17, when he first molested Chloe.

Sadly there are many Daniels in this world, and many of them are never caught because their victims never tell. The victims keep their silence in fear and shame; they grow up never getting the help they need to overcome their trauma.

Starting Over From A Shattered Life

shattered life

‘God promises to make something good out of the storms that bring devastation to your life’ – Romans 8:28

 

This is a story of Cindy… She had to start over from a shattered life that was caused by a myriad of problems. Cindy suffered from a major breakdown around twelve years ago… she lost at least eight loved ones in just one year; her mother died, she lost her kids in a parasailing accident and her dad was suffering from bone cancer. Everything that was happening in Cindy’s life at that time made her feel lost and shattered.

Cindy felt frightened and confused. She was on the brink of suffering from extreme depression and she felt that her life no longer had a purpose. She did not know how she was going to move forward… after facing so much lost, she just wanted to wallow in her grief and she allowed her pain overtake her.

Until one day, she realized that her suffering could do two things to her: propel her toward hope or lead her to complete destruction. Cindy knew the choice was in her hands… with God as her companion, Cindy chose to use her pain and turn it around for her good. She wasn’t a superhero, she just realized that life has opportunities there is good to come from bad and it shouldn’t be wasted.

Many of us may find ourselves relating to Cindy’s story; anyone who ever felt that their dreams are shattered and that their expectations are unmet will understand what Cindy went through. And when our lives feel like it’s out of control, it is difficult to look on the bright side – we are unable to see the bigger picture that God has in store for us.

Four Tips for Recovering From a Shattered Life

  • Everything happens for a reason. Everything that happens in our life is perceived in the meaning that we choose to give it; it is up to us to make an event either empowering or the other way around. It is our job to seek the lesson in every incident and learn from it. Life’s issues are a test, we can choose to pass it or fail it. When we pass the test is when we have a testimony!
  • Pain is inevitable, but to wallow in it is a choice. Suffering is a choice. Nothing lasts forever, including our pain. There is nothing wrong in experiencing our pain – what’s wrong is that if we choose to live with it forever. We must move on and avoid creating unnecessary mental anguish around every situation that we encounter.
  • Live in the current moment and deal with it. The current moment in our lives is the only moment that we need to deal with. It is our reality and we owe it our full attention. Once that reality is over, we need to move on to the next phase and work on becoming the person that we see ourselves to be.
  • Take one day at a time. Life is beautiful – it is the greatest gift that God has given to us and we shouldn’t waste it. Go outside and breathe the fresh air, laugh out loud with your friends, eat nourishing food and spend quality time with your loved ones. Do everything that you can today and avoid procrastination. Being in pain may hurt much that often one fails to appreciate the simple joys of life, but if you live one day at a time then you can find your way slowly moving on again.

Investing In Something Meaningful

Getting hurt is something that may be difficult to move on from… but it is not impossible! Suffering from a tragic experience can be turned into something redemptive. Cindy used her experience to help others by becoming a therapist, John Walsh created the television show ‘America’s Most Wanted’ after his son was abducted to help law enforcement agencies catch criminals, Kathy Sisk who was repeatedly molested; starting with her father, is a world-renowned speaker and author who carries God’s message of forgiveness, acceptance and love through her writings.

Give yourself time to heal. Do not be in a rush to move on from your pain or adversity – do not minimize your healing process. However, when the right time comes you have to recognize it; appreciate the opportunities that lie ahead of your life. Always remember that your story isn’t finished yet!

Overcome Shame After A Traumatic Experience

overcome shame

Learning how to love oneself is quite difficult for abused victims and traumatic survivors, especially in the early stages of healing. Abuse often produces shame because victims tend to blame themselves for what happened; they begin to believe that they are broken, unworthy, stupid and ugly. This blog post will talk about how abuse victims may overcome shame and self-blame after a traumatic experience.

Victims of abuse usually develop the sense of ‘being bad’ – they may try to hurt other people, commit suicide and/or develop bad habits such as substance abuse and alcoholism. Many trauma survivors have expressed that they feel mentally and spiritually violated and therefore feels ashamed; they lose their self-confidence and eventually fail to function socially.

One of the core effects of trauma is to the person’s developing sense of self, especially if the abuse took place at a young age. People who suffered from childhood abuse in the hands of primary caretakers or trusted figures, often neglect to grow as an adult because they continue to blame themselves for what happened. They fail to overcome shame and self-blame because of several factors and the following are some common examples:

  • Naturally, abuse causes feeling of humiliation, dehumanization and fear. It is a natural reaction for a survivor of such experiences to feel ashamed.
  • Survivors may develop the illusion of control – they believe that they are to blame for the abuse; that they are in control of the situation. They are unable to accept that they are powerless in the face of their adult abusers.
  • Many victims of childhood abuse are told directly and repeatedly that what happened to them is their fault; this gets internalized over and over in their minds as adults which deeply affect their self-esteem and self-worth.
  • Victims who were abused by their family members tend to protect their abusers, which makes them resort to self-blame and an unhealthy co-dependency.

These are just some of the reasons why abused victims fail to overcome shame and self-blame; they continue to carry a long-term legacy of embarrassment and self-loathing.

Self-Compassion May Help Overcome Shame from Abuse

‘Shame is the lie someone told you about yourself.’ – Anais Nin

Every victim of abuse and neglect knows about the feeling of shame; survivors of childhood abuse blame themselves for the physical, verbal and emotional abuse that they’ve undergone. Victims of sexual abuse tend to suffer the most shame – they believe that they have ‘enticed’ their abusers by the way they dress and behave and they may also feel guilty for feeling some physical pleasure during the assault.

Abuse creates change in the victim’s way of being; they become a different person not just because they experienced tremendous trauma but also because they feel that they have lost their innocence and dignity. Their feeling of shame continues as they fail to seek the proper treatment for what they’ve been through. Many survivors of abuse do things to hurt themselves while others resort to abusing alcohol and/or drugs, breaking the law and having multiple sexual partners.

Shame can affect literally all aspects of a person’s well being. It can affect their self-confidence, work performance, way of thinking, body image, socialization and many more.  Shame can also be the cause of many life problems and it almost always manifests into other feelings. Self-compassion may help overcome shame and self-blame caused by traumatic experiences. Having the right support and getting the proper treatment may help the healing process of anyone who is abused; kindness, support, encouragement and compassion from family and friends have a huge impact on the victim’s recovery.

Self-compassion is essential to overcome shame and self-blame; learn to extend compassion to yourself especially in times of general suffering and inadequacy. Self-compassion may have a positive effect on overcoming depression, anxiety and any feelings of stress. It may also facilitate resilience and control your reactions when caught in negative situations, especially situations that may remind you of your abusive experience.